In the aftermath of the latest mass-shooting in Newtown, CT, all of my bitching about not having time enough to do the things I *really* want to do (like post on my blog!) seem quite measly. I did not hear the news until late Friday evening, but as reports continue to surface, the one thing I keep asking myself is how did this 20 year old boy become so isolated that he felt the only way he could make a statement in the world is to destroy the hopes and dreams of so many innocents — and so many of elementary school age. Granted, there may be, most probably are, some mental health issues here, but of those details I am not certain yet. No matter, one person felt so separated from humanity that he had to destroy a chunk of it to make some peace with himself. And now so many others have nothing resembling peace and will not for a long, long time. To those people, my heart goes out in waves of sympathy.
In my classes since Friday, I’ve been suggesting that as people, sometimes there are things we can directly help with — for example if you have a psychological background, offering support to those who are suffering, or in the case of Hurricane Sandy, financial support to those in need — but sometimes due to circumstance there is little we can actually do to effect real and immediate change and so we, er, I, feel hopeless and powerless to do something. But… as a yogi, I recognize that any effort at real transformation in the world always begins at the grassroots level, it always begins with one’s own self. Sometimes the best thing one can do is just be the best person you can be. I come back to my yoga practice, meditation and asana, with a sense that any semblance of peace I achieve in my own life can and just might have a ripple effect out into the world — those immediately close to me and those further out. Often we hear about violent tragedy as the news sweeps the airwaves and that has a deep detrimental effect, and most often we do *not* hear about peace and steadiness and contentment that many are quietly developing in their own psyches during their own meditation practices.
Chinese medicine, the little of it that I have studied, suggests that we can actually feel the organ body inside of our skin. For many people, common sense would say “no way,” but… if you can feel a vital organ when it is in pain, why can’t you feel an organ when it feels good? Likewise, if violent, tragic, criminal acts have repercussions in the nation’s and even world awareness, why can’t acts of peace have similar repercussions?
As for me, to overcome the sense of overwhelm and powerlessness regarding this latest mass-shooting, I choose to continue practicing my yoga and sharing it with my students so that more people can recognize the amazing ability that these practices have to connect the practitioner to herself in the highest sense and even to the world. There have been times in my life when I have felt isolated and alone, but I have discovered through my sadhana, meditation and yoga practice, that intimacy is available. Yoga means to yoke or to join, to create union, and it means to create relationship — first with yourself and then with those around you, then with the greater community.
I once heard that Jerry Garcia (yes, THAT Jerry Garcia) had a way of warming up for concerts — first he got his fingers warm on the fretboard and became comfortable with himself, then with his music he reached out to his bandmates. Once they established connection together, then he extended his musical phrases to his audience. Real, lasting change starts within.
So last night I received one of my favorite comments of the year from a student. He said that his son is coming home from college on Wednesday night so he will have to miss yoga class. Next time he’s going to tell his son to come home on Thursday morning.
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The lack of irony here is sometimes hard to swallow, but it’s a catchy tune, and Durga Das and Mira have quickly found a direct path to my heart.
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